CATS IN SPACE NEWS NETWORK — URGENT BULLETIN
In what mission control is calling 'the most predictable disaster in the history of space exploration,' Navigator Beans has swatted Asteroid XR-42 clean off the tracking console.
We saw her eyeing it for about forty-five minutes. The tail was doing that thing. The butt wiggle started at minute thirty. We all knew what was going to happen. Nobody could stop it. — Commander Fluffington, Mission Debrief
The asteroid, worth an estimated 4.7 trillion space-treats, is now tumbling into the Andromeda galaxy. Beans has shown zero remorse and is currently napping in the captain's chair.
Not Her First Offense
January — Batted a small moon near Jupiter into Saturn's rings.
February — Pushed a classified space station prototype into a black hole.
March — Today's incident. Total damage: 4.7 trillion space-treats.
Official Response
When reached for comment, Beans slowly blinked and began grooming her left paw. She then knocked the interviewer's microphone off the table.